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Published July 9, 2015

Longtime readers of this site will remember in the early years when I posted more comedic reviews and unfortunately for current readers the reason that stopped was due to the fact that very few people cared that I had a sense of humor because apparently the only thing worse than joking about their games sucking hard enough to earn double in Thailand was joking about how a thirty second demo reel featuring swimmers of all beings could be the catalyst to form a media franchise especially from a country that has more successful male figure skaters than real athletes of either gender ANYWAY the point is that the only real spanking EVN devs ever gave me was on my humor and credit where it is due because mommy tuned my ass up hard enough to get the point across for two fucking years until today when one mans dry wit and crippling cynicism got me back on my feet and that mans name is Yazhtee Croshaw Yahtzee has gained something of a cult following with his ruthless critiques and up until Jim Fucking Sterling Son left The Escapist the two were the biggest draws the website had and quite frankly I am currently at a loss to explain what else The Escapist does now ther than put out new episodes of the four different series Yahtzee is running now although apparently Game Theory is a part of the network so at the very least gaming intellectualism has a safe place somewhere on the Internet because Kotaku certainly is not going to be filling that role anytime soon REGARDLESS Yahtzee has made a game and because I enjoy gaming when I am not trying to fend off the latest slate of Winged Cloud boobs trying to pass for a decent visual novel by pressing against my Y chromosome and telling me what naughty girls they have been I am going to review Hatfall which is a game that has no story no real direction and is one of the funniest damn games I have played in a while Also if you have not noticed this particular review will feature a certain style and structure that will not be copied in the future because quite frankly the little English teacher inside of me is dying with every sentence although that will not excuse my sense of humor and if it offends you now I suggest passing on this review because it is only going to get worse for you from here although luckily for you it will not be very long

  • Genre: Comedy
  • Developer: Defy Media
  • Language: English
  • Platform: Browser, iOS, Android
  • Website: Escapist Arcade

Hatfall is about as straightforward as a game can get you run your avatar around and catch hats on your head hence the bloody title but wrapped up in the simplicity and dare I say beauty of a man and his hat are a few things that are often mishandled in gaming as a whole and the EVN community in particular so let us start with the first big thing it gets right and that is ironically in how you play it because while it can be very simple during the first few stages the game does have a difficulty spike and if you are too busy laughing to notice it Hatfall will have you bent over faster than one of the boys from Starfighter on a three day pass and it accomplishes this by dropping things from the sky that are not hats and adding avatars to the screen that mimic your own and between moments of getting crushed by a telephone post and left in a blood of your own cartoon blood and running around in a circle to discern where you are you realize that the game actually does take itself just seriously enough to keep you invested beyond just comedy and that keeps you coming back not just to try and beat your previous best in the normal levels and also take on whatever insane minigame Hatfall throws at you next 

 

The minigames go a long way because they are basically extended the jokes as well which is good because because whether or not you watch Zero Punctuation Hatfall is outrageously funny and there was not a minute of playing the game where I was not rolling on the floor laughing and a lot of this is helped because the game does have a formula to work off of but it is also helped that the game is so vagina bendingly absurd that it can only be naval bleedingly funny and this was made clear one the first minigame I got that happened just after I bought myself a solid gold review desk because why would I not have solid gold review desk anyway after earning my solid gold review desk I played a few more rounds only to find that it had been stolen and I had to fill out insurance papers for it while drinking myself silly because it was a solid fucking gold review desk and I fucking deserved that and HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY DESK AWAY FROM ME YOUR FUCKING TWATS BUT back to topic otherwise I will drown myself in my arrogant tears the point is that you have to check each box yourself as the choices get more absurd and you get drunker which makes it harder to make a choice only for your insurance claim to be revoked because a few of your choices may have pissed off a small European country or at the very least you could not point it out on a map It is these not so small touches along with the constantly sarcastic and hilarious directions before each stage along with the game mocking you regardless of whether you get the hat or not that both connects the game to its source while making it its own thing and that is something that falls flat for many EVN developers who think that the height of comedy is two boys in negative ten jeans fighting over a girl with the personality of wallpaper paste because lol so otome and while the audience can certainly have a laugh at these comedic tropes put into those games it is not because the writers themselves can actually write comedy but rather because they can successfully copy something which is the intellectual equivalent of expecting praise just because you photocopied War and Peace without getting the pages mixed up because actual comedy takes actual effort as well as timing and respect for your audience all of which cannot be replicated it has to be original ALTHOUGH I have no proof Yahtzee did not just get drunk and throw darts at ideas on the wall to figure out what bits would be included in the game and what would not like he does for Zero Punctuation but at the very least those ideas are well thought out and timed to get the highest comedic effect and not constantly thrown at the viewer with all of the confidence of said otome heroine from earlier in this paragraph

It is clear that Yahtzee knows what he is doing and the result is a very funny ride that puts its foot on the gas and does not let up while you are anywhere in the game and if for no other reason I strongly suggest every EVN writer who wants to do something comedic should pick this up and learn as much as they can BUT JP MY GAME HAS A SKINNY CHARACTER WHO CAN EAT TWO HUNDRED HAMBURGERS WITHOUT SHOWING EMOTION THAT IS HILARIOUS No it is not funny and who let you out of your hamster cage anyway get back in there before I break out the spritzing bottle Hatfall is fun and it is fun to the point you can overlook how well developed it actually is since the humor extends to the extras menus and allows you to unlock other gifts from all the hats you collect as well as character who will turn into obstacles as the game gets more difficult and a nonsense prologue crawl just in case you were stupid enough to assume that Yahtzee would actually include some type of story in this and while you can play it for free I did not mind dropping the two dollars asked for to download Hatfall onto my iPad and while I can easily justify the purchase by pointing out I had to deal with these bitches over the course of June I would be right but it would overlook the fact that Hatfall is a legitimately good game that anyone can pick up and enjoy I tip both my in game and out of game hat to Yahtzee for taking what could have easily been a empty cash in on a popular license like so many of the AAA publishers he routinely scewers do and instead creating a product that represents the best qualities of himself and Zero Punctuation and I cannot think of anyone who should not at least give the game a shot so I am going to give it the exclusive one time score of twenty billion hats out of ten for Excellence in Hat Putting On Excellence Nah that is a little biased so let me try to be one hundred percent objective here and give Hatfall a fair score of a Number out of a Number and seriously check out the game because you will not regret playing the most insanely brilliant and no doubt greatest hat putting on simulator called Hatfall ever devised by man