The Ten Worst VNs of 2017

3) Love Ribbon (RazzArt)

Remember everything I said about Chris and Kai from Tomboys Need Love Too and how their relationship was built on their banter that hinted at their history together and how it slowly became more intimate through a naturally evolving and logical series of events so that the audience could be invested in them both as individuals and want them to be together by the end of the game? Yeah, Iris and Zoey are the exact opposite. Calling them cliches would be an act of mercy as their literal cardboard cut-out characterizations are only made more obvious by the overwrought, melodramatic writing that doesn’t affect any of the story’s events. I have seen more interesting goldfish interactions than watching these two pour out the contents of the empty french fry containers they call hearts to one another again….and again….and again.

And, Christ; this writing. Here’s the thing, this game isn’t actually interested in giving either Zoey or Iris another option outside of their mutual infatuation. The constant melodrama is a device to make the moments they give into each other more weight than the game actually has. That makes sitting through this awful pantomime a test of both mental and emotional endurance saved best for Spetsnaz training or a particularly overwhelming sit on the toilet. And that’s the best possible take on the writing. At worst, all of this melodrama is in service of the central kink; over-emphasizing their blood relationship strictly to build up the wrongness of it so that the developers, and audience, can get off on when Zoey and Iris give in to the red rope strangling them every now and then. Yeah, people enjoy the idea of doing something specifically because society sees it as wrong. It’s a shocking revelation I know.

Oh, and as for the incest thing? I’m not going to knock it on moral grounds. What I am going to do is pose a question not to the audience for this game, but for anyone on the outskirts who would consider giving it a pass because it’s yuri (I know you’re out there). If this was a game about an older, nerdy brother wanting to bang his younger, rebellious sister – I didn’t even have to finish the sentence did I?

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